Friday 10th October
I had asked for a call at 6am, and after washing and dressing I went up to the restaurant for breakfast. Second person to arrive (it opened at 7pm). I asked for a table in a back corner, mainly because I did not want anyone to see how greedy I was being – three sausages, two fried eggs, a heap of scrambled egg, two slices of black pudding, two pieces of fried bread, one mushroom, one half of a tomato followed by grapefruit segments, strawberry yoghurt, a pot of drinking yoghurt followed by two Danish pastries, two croissants with marmalade (there wasn’t any apricot jam), a piece of chocolate bread plus a pot of coffee.
After breakfast I went to the exhibitors’ hall. I was so early I had to ask for it to be unlocked. Ten stands arranged around the perimeter of the chamber with the central area reserved for the teas and coffees to be served during the breaks. Because it is a closed conference all the “exhibitors” were internal, mostly campaigns that we want members to get involved with.
I talked to KD (from Head Office) and helped her set up her stand – exuberant thanks for doing this. We talked about the ghastly SS and how we disliked her pushy ways. SS arrived and immediately began smoothing the tablecloths so that I would have to move.
I went into the hall next door for the formal start to the Conference. About 150 members were in the hall, more than I expected. The Council were seated on the stage with the Institute’s Director Alec Nussbaum and Deputy Director Marcia Walsh.
I was absolutely disgusted to see the young hipster sitting on the stage as a member of Council. Rough-shaven, tight mustard trousers, open-necked check shirt (tiny checks so the shirt looked grey from a distance. As there are comparatively few young members of the Institute he is likely to hold the “yoof” place on Council for years to come.
The President of the Institute, a bearded elderly gentleman looking like Leopold II King of the Belgians, made the opening remarks in a stilted style.
About twenty new members then appeared, and lined up in front of the audience to take their Affirmations. This oath of loyalty makes some people uncomfortable (the Institute as a cult), but it has done more to secure confidentiality over the years than almost any other measure. I clapped so many times my hands began to hurt.
After the new members had been welcomed Awards were made to members who have contributed to the Institute in terms of Research, Campaigning and Innovation.
After the Awards a few Fellowships were given out. These are given to long-standing members, usually past Presidents. I was surprised to see Vijay Singh (former Director of the Institute) given a fellowship but Marcia Walsh told me later he got it to keep him quiet. As each Fellow went up to the stage he was given a large envelope supposedly containing a certificate although I knew the envelopes were empty (the certificates had not arrived in time). One of the Fellows insisted on saying a few words (“we are a learning, sharing, caring community” he mumbled).
After the Fellowships the President gave the Presidential Address, starting with a vote of loyalty to the Crown. Following this very conventional opening he then mischievously told us we were all “outlaws”. He talked out identity (“We are not defined by what other people think of us. We define ourselves. We are defined by our oath of Affirmation…”). He talked about group mind. He talked about recruitment (“We don’t choose to be members, we are chosen…”). Sustained applause with a few people standing up.
A break for morning coffee. I stood at my table in the hall and tried to interest people in various campaigns we have coming up. One person who showed an interest was a Canadian – what possible relevance does the Institute have in Canada?
After the break was the Closed Session. Employees and various others are not supposed to sit in on this, and at the doors Council members were taking the names of everyone going into the hall. I chose the door guarded by the hipster and just walked past him, assuming (correctly) that he would not be confident enough to challenge me.
I sat at the back where the top table could not see me. MM arrived just as the doors were closing. I wanted a glass of water but I did not dare stand up and walk to a side table in case I was seen by a member of Council.
Apologies for absence were read out (“I notice that a number of people on this list are here!”).
Obituaries were read out (this took some time).
Scrutineers were appointed.
Reports previously circulated were listed and questions were asked.
Finance was glossed over, which was surprising given the way we are always told how little money we have.
Discussion of the Journal and its cost (high because the print run is so low due to the restricted circulation).
I felt myself dehydrating due to the air conditioning.
Then came the Special Resolutions. The meeting became increasingly acrimonious with many personal remarks flying across the hall. The general behaviour of a bow-tied middle-aged member was questioned and he snarled back “If I want to smoke a spliff I’ll smoke a spliff”, shocking the silver-haired gentlemen and elderly desiccated ladies (“you’re all fanatics”).
An inflammatory sheet, hostile to the Council, was circulated person to person. When it reached me I knew immediately it should be suppressed and put it among the notes I was holding. When the lunch break came I took the sheet to Vijay Singh and he said “good work” and told me to look out for anything else that undermined the Council (which legitimised my presence in the Closed Session).
I went to the screened-off area where the staff lunches were reserved, but was so late everything had been ransacked and I had to make do with leftovers (this has happened so often at Conferences that I now make sure I have a good breakfast).
Returning to the Closed Session after lunch I walked up to the hipster and told him Vijay Singh had asked me to attend the meeting. He just said “cool” with that infuriating sub-Ryan-Gosling attitude of his and wrote my name on his list. He is such a sneaky individual that I knew he would double-check with Vijay Singh in the hope of catching me out.
Special Resolution 3 – clashes over which projects would get funding over the next year, with an expected concentration of expenditure in the first five months of 2015.
Special Resolution 4 – “Our cellular structure counts against infiltration…” “…I was told I would have to resubmit and when I asked why I was told there were new guidelines. I was asked for a copy of the guidelines and was told No, and when I asked why I was told it was because my submission had not been accepted…” “We are all standing under a sword of Damocles…” “In two years I will be seventy” (getting upset) “…we can’t go back and change history but we can damn well change the future…” “…at the end of the day we are all on the same side…”
Voting slips were collected (they are all named and numbered, so there was no chance I could vote).
Then the President stood up and read out a long list of thanks to various people, becoming tearful at places.
After the Conference had closed for the day I felt so tired I had to go back to my room and lie-down for an hour before attending the Drinks Reception for New Members (in which I talked to an Icelandic person – what possible relevance does the Institute have to Iceland?).
Later came the dinner with a guest so confidential it cannot be…
