Wednesday 28th February.
Waking in my tenth-floor hotel room, I drew back the curtains to see Croydon wet and grey in the early morning light. The view from my window was extensive, and I sat on the edge of the bed and watched misty low rain clouds move towards me across a shallow urban valley to spatter on the side of the building and then pass over. I went down to the dining room for a big breakfast – all around me were other business people sitting isolated but with an air of confidence (when they moved they seemed to have a smooth gliding motion, as if they were machines rather than people).
During the morning I worked on editing a book the company wants to produce. The draft has been done by a freelance, but she has obviously just downloaded several articles from the internet and stitched them together with very minimal changes. I will have to rewrite all of it, every single word, to ensure it is presentable and doesn’t violate copyrights (actually I quite like doing this kind of project, even though I am never credited as the author).
From one o’clock until six I was in one of the training sessions. We looked at various kinds of communication. There were two coffee breaks when we sprawled on sofas in the central area, asking each other questions.
The afternoon’s training ran over six o’clock, and as soon as I could I left the business suite and went to the station (ten minutes walk). Buying a ticket at one of the machines, I rushed down onto a train going to London Bridge (and beyond to Bedford). This train was excruciatingly slow, and stopped for ages on a viaduct just by Southwark cathedral (“It always does this” a woman said to me, obviously noticing my impatience).
Arriving at London Bridge at five past seven, I caught another train to Waterloo (marginally quicker than walking) and then ran to the South Bank. I got to the National Theatre five minutes after the play (
The Man Of Mode) had started. I had arranged to see the play with Robert Leiper (in London for a couple of days from his current residence in Paris) and was concerned he would be kept waiting, but he had already claimed his ticket from the Olivier Desk and gone into the auditorium.
I waited outside for fifteen minutes until the end of the first act when one of the ushers took me into the dark interior and guided me to my seat next to Robert Leiper.
We had the best seats in the house. There were two reasons I wanted to see
The Man Of Mode - it had had extremely good reviews in the national press, and I had seen Etherege’s
Love In A Tub some years ago so I knew his work was very clever and interesting.
Love In A Tub had been put on by the drama department of my college (apparently the first time it had been put on for two hundred years).
The National’s version of
The Man Of Mode was a modern production and was actually two plays in one. There was Etherege’s Restoration drama (themes of corruption, falsehood, the unsatisfying quality of decadent living) combined with a visual satire of modern London. It was incredibly well done, with so much happening that I felt I would have to see it twice to take it all in.
The drawback of seventeenth-century plays is that they can sometimes appear irrelevant to the present day (obviously this doesn’t apply to Shakespeare). But the modern interpretation of this production was so accurate that I immediately recognised the London it portrayed. The authenticity was very convincing, and the play was colourful, lively, full of visual jokes (chav fashions, parkour leaping, the Matthew Bourne version of
Swan Lake etc). The cast were mostly young and unknown, which was an advantage as there were no colossal thespians trundling around the stage. The hero (anti-hero?) Dorimant was played by Tom Hardy, seducing his way through the cast with such a high level of charisma that there were gasps of recognition and indignation from the young woman next to me (“I’ve been there!” and “you liar!”). He also had considerable stamina, considering the number of scene changes over three hours.
In the interval we went to the bar and I ordered a half-bottle of champagne which we shared between us (I wasn’t trying to show off, champagne was just the easiest thing to buy). Robert Leiper was full of his plans for setting up a small business based in Paris (would he be allowed to do this without French citizenship?). He insisted on going down to the cloakroom and retrieving some of the stock he had already bought, wrapped up in big bulky packages. We took these packages back to the crush bar and despite the lack of space (we were literally in a crush) he crouched down on the carpet and opened them up. In the process he knocked over the bottle of champagne, which had been placed on the floor, and it gushed over the patent leather shoes of a man in his late-fifties (dark suit, gold-rimmed glasses, crinkly grey hair) soaking his foot. Robert Leiper’s apologies were so inadequate that I felt indignation on the man’s behalf.
The second half was just as good the first with an incredible performance by Nancy Carroll. Despite this being a three hour play there was no point when I felt the time was dragging. Later when I tried to analyse why I had enjoyed the production so much, it occurred to me that I had experienced Csikszentmihalyi’s flow state.
It was late when we emerged from the theatre. Needing something to eat, we crossed over Waterloo Bridge (the bridge obliquely features in the song
Waterloo Sunset by the Kinks, and was also where Bulgarian dissident Georgi Markow was assassinated by being stabbed with the tip of a poisoned umbrella in 1978). We went into Smollenskys on The Strand, which was still serving meals. I ordered a fishcake with vegetables of the day – the fishcake arrived brick shaped, covered with an orange sauce and so ornately garnished that it looked like an elaborate blancmange.
Robert Leiper hardly touched his food, talking excitedly about his plans to set up his business. He talked at me for about twenty minutes describing all the people who would want to buy his product / pay for his service, but without any evidence that these customer segments actually exist. When I asked if he had a business plan this was dismissed as if of no account.
None of this surprised me. When you work in marketing you get used to meetings where ideas are floated that are supposedly so unique that the normal rules of marketing don’t apply (in reality, the rules of marketing always apply, but unfortunately not everyone can understand them). I tentatively suggested some market research to validate the assumptions he was making, but was told (at some repetitive length) that market research doesn’t work.
The only point at which I managed to stop his gush of supply-side enthusiasm was when I asked about the sales process – how would he find his customers, how would he pitch to them, how would he get them to part with their money. This received a grudging acknowledgment that sales was an unpleasant necessity (in reality sales is the only thing that matters, everything else being a variation of admin work). I told him that even the most favourable sales ratios are based on one sale for every twenty expressions of interest, which is a gruelling pace of qualifying, pitching and closing for someone untrained in sales techniques.
“I feel like throwing a bucket of cold water over you” I told him.
We finished our meal and paid the bill. Between us we only had a tiny amount of change (less than £1) to leave as a tip. Robert Leiper described how he had left a tiny tip at a restaurant in New York and the waitress had been so outraged she had followed him out onto the street and thrown it at him.
It was raining outside but I managed to get a taxi quite easily.
More on Csikszentmihalyi’s flow state:
http://www.austega.com/education/articles/flow.htm