I
had brought my alarm clock with me and set it for 7am (I am always wary
of relying on hotel morning calls after a disaster in Germany). Reluctant to get up, but by force of will I was washed and dressed and downstairs to breakfast by 7.30. This was in the restaurant, smoked glass walls, tiny tables, lots of staff milling around. No
other Institute people seemed up, and no members that I recognised,
just the a large party of young men, talking loudly about a wedding to be held in the old part of the hotel on Saturday. I had a fried breakfast, two of everything, with toast and tea.
Alec Nussbaum’s secretary appeared at the restaurant entrance, hovered a few seconds looking around, and then came over to my table and sat down. She had a very small breakfast, and exhibited an incredibly dainty way of eating a croissant. She was wearing glasses, which made her appear
short-sighted to the point of being blind.
Gary then appeared and sat at the table next to us, just wearing jeans and a t-shirt, his limbs appearing spindly despite all his visits to the gym. I suspect he is besotted with Alec Nussbaum's secretary as he keeps looking in her direction and also has started sighing a lot. But he does not say anything to her (which is sooo typical).
I then went to the upper hall for a last-minute check of the Institute’s stand. Other stands were going up (a bookstall, a “Friends of” society, and incongruously, a stall selling fine wines).
When
the banners had been put up and the literature laid out on the stand I
left Gary in charge (he had changed into a suit but no tie) and went down to the reception area. Waves of members were arriving, about two thirds of them women. I had to rush to put flyers out on the chairs in the hall before people sat down, wishing I had done this the previous night.
On the stage the top table filled up with the Institute’s Council plus Vijay Singh and Alec Nussbaum.
Ten
minutes late the first session began, with about a hundred people in
the hall and late-comers arriving every couple of minutes (shutting the
door quietly behind them and looking around for a vacant chair, and
either creating a commotion getting to it or squatting down on the
floor).
New
members came forward and stood in front of the platform facing the
Council and made their pledges (and on the wall behind the Council was the big portrait image, my idea so that it looked as if the new members were directly
addressing the portrait). The new members collectively read their affirmations from little cards they had been given. Then they were grouped together for a photo and everyone clapped.
The loyal address to the Queen was made (do they actually send it to her?).
The President’s address followed. The President was aged about 60, bushy-bearded, glasses, fat, jolly and pedantic. I wondered how he had been chosen (I know for a fact there are no elections).
Then it was coffee break. I
was delayed by various people, so by the time I got back upstairs the
hall was packed and Gary was beleaguered on the stand, the Institute’s
give-aways fast running out. Marcia Walsh (Deputy Director) none too pleased when I asked her to help.
The second session was the formal EGM of the Institute. Nothing controversial was in any of the motions. To my surprise the proposal to merge the Institute with “Head Office” was deferred. It was also announced that Vijay Singh had resigned and Alec Nussbaum was now acting Director. Both
these announcements were a complete surprise to me and came out of the
blue, although in retrospect they explained Vijay Singh’s listless
behaviour and hands-off attitude the last couple of weeks. For a little while I felt stunned.
During
the lunch break I was so occupied on the stand that by the time I got
to the little private dining room for Institute staff all the food had gone
except for one sandwich and some biscuits. Marcia Walsh
was in the room, and I suspected her of hiding (talking to the members
can be hard work – many of them are fanatics, and a few seem positively
mad). Marcia and I agreed that Alec Nussbaum had outwitted everyone, and had won the game even before the EGM took place. But
for some reason it seems likely the Institute will go on. “He likes the
idea of a confidential agency solely reporting to him" Marcia said, "with no public
footprint, no trails that can be followed, and no smoking guns".
After
lunch was the special “members speak” session that had been hurriedly
arranged and just consisted of one member after another standing up and
giving encomiums, usually in the form of very long anecdotes.
The verbal dithyrambics, spontaneous praise-singing, and heart-felt panegyric homages eventually came to an end and we then had the afternoon tea. However
I didn't get to drink any tea as I was fully occupied by Kirsty from Head Office PR section. We spent the whole hour drafting an article for the Head Office website (she was very anxious not to say
anything indiscreet).
The afternoon was the first practical session of the day with the launch of three new initiatives. Alec Nussbaum went through each of them, with lots of positive feedback from the floor. “Andrew’s done all the work” he told the members, but in a slightly patronising way as if he was just being modest.
Formal end to the day’s proceedings, just as the special guest arrived. The whole atmosphere of the Conference changed and the members appeared to be starstruck at the appearance of the great man. The loathsome Tony C appeared, promoting himself as usual and wanting an introduction.
The New Members' drinks reception was held in the upper hall between 5 and 6 (so I had to be on the stand again – am I the only person working?).
From 7.30 pm everyone gathered in the main restaurant for the formal dinner and the special guest made his speech (which was exactly the same as the first time I heard it). The food not good and the service once again slow. After the dinner various
social things had been arranged for the members (a quiz night, a film, even a policy
forum) but I avoided all of this and just slipped away to my
room.