We discussed various problems - the past week at work

Monday

My deputy Meryl seemed sullen this morning.  Office junior Leo was co-operative.  I have given up trying to understand their moods.

What did I do all day?  Looking back, it is hard to identify anything specific.  I briefed a designer.  Then I endured a presentation from a sales rep for a commercial radio station.  I talked to Research manager Felix about the art of writing e-mails copied to everyone in the NGO (he claims this is an effective means of personal PR).

PR Officer Josie (who is having an affair with Operations Director Ryan M) was in a strange mood and made a number of bitter comments ("Sometimes I hate working in this place... it's such a complicated hostile organisation... I never really know who my friends are...").  I suppose if I were truly her friend I would tell her not behave so stupidly over someone who is never going to leave his wife.  But if I did that she would not forgive me.

The working day drew to a close and I stepped out of the office into the late afternoon sunshine.  Rather than listen to PM (on Radio 4) I put on the commercial radio station I had been discussing earlier.  Karen Carpenter was singing Goodbye To Love. 

Tuesday

Communications Director Tom D has gone away for two weeks, leaving Felix and myself in charge (which in the NGO is called "acting up" - we are equal grade).  We sat in Tom's office discussing opportunities to do things while Tom is away.  Change things, influence things, perhaps even cancel things.   

The documentary about the NGO was filmed today, with the film crew wandering around the building interviewing people.  This project started as a series of radio documentaries, and has grown into an eleven-episode film series (five minutes per episode).  I had given Josie the task of minding the film crew, and she flapped about, getting annoyed when people were not ready for their spots.

Because the NGO Board was being filmed in the evening I had to stay late (just in case something went wrong).  I used the time to catch up on some outstanding work.  I talked to Ryan M about the National Awards he has asked me to organise.  When I told him to expect a call from a journalist he said to me brazenly: "The thing is, is she nice - is she a goer?"  I avoided answering the question and we talked jokily for a few minutes before he disappeared.  When I went up to check the filming was going smoothly he was at his usual place at the Board table, talking seriously to the other directors, a glass of orange juice in his hand.

Wednesday

Today I finally came to the conclusion that I did not like working at the NGO and would not apply for a permanent position.  I have decided this in the past and then changed my mind, but this time I was determined there would be no more second thoughts.  Talking to Felix did not help as he is so fatalistic about everything. 

Thursday

The weather has changed again so that it is now chilly and damp. 

One of the great advantages of Tom D being away is that I can park in his parking space.

The national directory distribution got under way today and I visited the mailing house to make sure it was going out as specified.  I am more confident about the success of this project.  The opposition to it was at times daunting.

Friday

A call from a business magazine asking for an interview.  The only director available was Ryan M so after a brief explanation I put him through.  When I asked Kate, who works in his team, how the interview had gone she said he had been awful.

Lunchtime I went to the Red Lion with Felix, and over pints of beer we discussed various problems.  The Meryl problem.  The Carmel problem.  And again and again we returned to the Tom problem.  How he was disorganised, did not communicate, openly lied about things.  We were there about two hours, and when we returned to the office I felt in no condition to do any work.