Overheard on the train

“She’s not doing too well I’m afraid. She made a good start all through January and February but has remained stuck ever since. She puts down everything, but fools herself over the numbers. Like, because wine is made from grape juice she says it counts towards her five-a-day and just gives it fifty per glass, the same as an average-size apple. And she doesn’t count medicines. When she’s desperate I’ve known her to drink half a bottle of really sweet cough mixture and count it as zero. But the exercise is going really well. The dancercise and the hula-hooping. That’s going really well.”