You sometimes have to take a guess - the past week at work

Monday

The alarm-clock went off at 5.50 and another working week began. It is very depressing if you are tired when you get up in the morning as you know things are not going to get any better the rest of the day. No heating on the train.

At the agency lots of internal briefings, especially from Kate as she was on holiday the rest of the week. She left her car (a company car) in the mews at the back with instruction that only I am allowed to use it while she is away. Midday she left by taxi to go to Heathrow, and for some reason I felt a profound sense of sadness, as if I wanted to go after her and say “Don’t leave me here” (which is absurd, since she will be back next Monday).

I briefed Ben on photography that needed doing. I briefed Tony B in the studio on some ads that needed designing. No time to go out at lunchtime although Ann (helps Sheila) went and got some hot pastries for me from a local café (“What do you want?”she asked. “You choose” I said. She brought back hot Cornish pasties - two for me and two for herself).

In the afternoon Pete asked me if I would show him how to do Account Handling. I told him he couldn’t visit clients until he learned to drive (this was the brush-off I had got from Ian when I asked if Pete could be given more responsibility). Really he has no future at the agency and needs to go back to college.

“If I did learn to drive they’d only use me as a dogsbody” he said with resignation.

Tuesday

Freezing fog when I first looked out the window, so I “worked at home”. As I wasn’t prepared for working at home I didn’t have a great deal to do. So I went back to bed and got some rest.

Wednesday

Pete’s birthday, and his desk was decorated with big balloons, exactly as Sarah’s had been last Friday (they were probably from the same packet).

Mid-morning, and an incredibly vulgar Rolypolygram arrived and came over to where Pete was sitting (in the desk directly opposite mine). The short woman was almost spherical, aged in her late-fifties, and with a lumpen face like a potato. She put on some music and began taking her clothes off.

Everyone in the office came over to watch, and because our desks are by the wall I was effectively trapped and had to witness it all (otherwise I would have left). Ben took photographs throughout the performance. The woman removed all her clothes, including a pair of wispy panties (lifting her elephantine legs up one by one to do so), and when she was completely naked you could smell her body (this is not my imagination).

The Rolypolygram asked Pete for a kiss, and everybody (including myself) clapped. Then she put on her clothes and left. I found out later that the office “girls” (Sarah, Judy, Janette, Ann and office manager Sheila) had clubbed together to pay for the Rolypolygram.

Pete had laughed all the way through the Rolypolygram, but told me later he was very angry about it.

At lunchtime everyone went to the pub and Ian paid for all the drinks.

Thursday

Quite an intimidating amount of work to deal with at the moment, and a number of urgent jobs - you sometimes have to take a guess at which one is more important.

In the morning I went by tube up to Old Street to Websters. This client is very easy to handle as they do regular print ads (every month across nine magazines) that don’t tend to change much. The company has a very cramped existence with a large number of people packed into a few small offices above a shop.

In the afternoon I looked at quotes and on impulse rang freelance Joey and told him he could have an illustration job if he could do it for £300 (£50 cheaper than the quote) and if he could come over and take the brief immediately. He arrived barely an hour later, showing off to Sarah the Murphy & Nye grey and white jersey-shirt he was wearing (sleeves pushed up to his elbows).

Friday

A drive up the A1 to a company that makes gas fires. I always have to take lots of stuff with me when I visit this client (campaign files, examples, papers) as I never know what they are going to raise. A lot of the time we talked about photography for their next campaign. Ben’s photography was not good, so it will have to be done again (you couldn’t see the gas flames). A female sales manager came into the meeting to give her opinion - her power dressing included so much metal (chains, belts, broaches) that it was if she was wearing armour. I was in the meeting from 11am until nearly 3pm.

When I got back to the agency Angela (Ian's PA) was in a foul mood. The office had a strange atmosphere as if there had been a massive row. It was as if the residues of conflict hung around the place like cordite over a battlefield.