Their experiences with internet dating

Friday, Midsummer Eve (the Eve of St John). Marie-Astrid gave her annual Midsummer Party. Being half-Danish this was a big event for her (Scandinavians make a big thing about Midsummer).

I arrived at Marie-Astrid’s house about seven-thirty, going there straight from work. Most of the other guests were already there, about forty people in all. Apart from three others, none of the people who were at this year’s party were at last year’s. Marie-Astrid is very good at making friends, but not so good at keeping them. There were eight children, who had their own party in the long lounge area, and then went to bed about nine. Two of the girls (they were all aged about four or five) had dressed up as Midsummer fairies (more Shakespeare than Scandinavia).

Considerable effort had been made to decorate the house. The children had constructed a “Midnight Sun” out of gold foil and this was put up on the wall in the lounge area. Chinese lanterns were draped around the big conservatory (runs the whole length of the house) and Malibu lights were around the garden.

One aspect of the party that surprised was the amount of alcohol on offer – Marie-Astrid had previously been strictly teetotal. For instance, there was a big punchbowl (“It was my grandmothers…”) that started the evening as a fruit punch with lavender ice cubes but gradually became more and more alcoholic as the evening progressed (bottles of Southern Comfort and red wine being tipped into it). Around the makeshift bar were bottles of whisky and gin and numerous bottles of wine (brought to the party by various people).

Emily arrived very late with her new partner (“We were relying on you to be the latest” she said to me). As usual she was over-dressed, wearing a full-length clinging black dress with a revealing neck-line and lots of costume jewellery. She talked about an argument she had had that morning with her boss and how she was determined to confront him and face him down next time they met.

On a long table in the conservatory the food had been laid out. The meal was a smorgasbord with open sandwiches on rye bread, rubbery Norwegian cheeses, sweet dumplings, two marzipan ring cakes, and many other delicacies I had not seen before. Emily made jokes about herrings and Danish pastries (neither of which were on offer). The plates of food were decorated with tiny flags. Someone pointed out that the blue flags were Swedish, not Danish, but Marie-Astrid shrugged this off with a reference to her numerous Swedish relations. The table was decorated with big (ten inches tall) brightly-painted wooden toy Danish soldiers belonging to Marie-Astrid’s daughter (they looked like British guardsmen, with black bearskins but with white bandoliers across the red tunics).

About eight o’clock some of the children, who were playing with the bead curtain that hung over the double-doors leading into the garden, fell out noisily with each other. One of the Midsummer fairies burst into tears. The respective mothers of the children took this as a signal to send them upstairs to lie down (this didn’t quell the disturbances, and the children’s argument rumbled on for the rest of the evening, occasionally intruding into the adult’s gathering).

Out in the garden a group of guests sat around a table became very boisterous, which was surprising considering none of them had met until that evening. As the light faded and it became colder this group migrated indoors, changing the atmosphere and making it livelier. Two women came in from the garden, both aged in the their thirties, both divorced mothers, both with blonde hair but otherwise not attractive. They seemed determined to be outrageous, and in their semi-inebriated state began talking about their experiences with internet dating:

“As I say, I found the man of my dreams, but unfortunately I wasn’t the woman of his dreams” (cackles of laughter).

“The thing that no-body warns you is that when you put down a particular town, you’re going to know half the men already.”

“Yes, I came across someone I see everyday on the train.”

“I had a date with a lad who was alright and that, but not really for me. But he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He kept texting me saying he wanted to …” she whispered the remainder of the sentence to her companion and the cackles of laughter resumed and went on for some time, renewed each time they rolled their eyes at each other.